To my father

Hello papi

I wish I can say the following, personally to you, but I know I do not have the nerve to do so, because we will probably start crying.

I promise that we, you mom and I will be living in a nice home. One day, you will no longer carry that God forsaken phone of yours, and will not have to answer to a bunch of white, young, entitled, assholes.

I promise you will finally rest and do your favorite hobbies such as fixing things around the house, organizing your boxes, or preparing for the weekend markets.

I promise you won’t have to worry about tenants complaining about stupid shit, but I will always come to your rescue when they disrespect you.

I promise that we will all be sitting in our front porch drinking coffee or your favorite flavored waters and talk about how we survived the past and how this was all we ever wanted, a nice home.

I promise you will be happier with my mom and I when we get the hell out of this building and you will no longer be a superintendent to a bunch of assholes.

Don’t worry papi, just give me some time, and I will whisk you and mom away to a new a home. This I promise you.Thank you for your hard work and for your patience, papi.

love always.

Tu hija!

 

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Dad’s Bday

The weekend went smoothly. I helped out my parents with their small business they’ve had for over 15+ years. Although, I had to wake up early in the morning but it was all good. I’ve been getting better waking up in the mornings without having such an attitude or be in a really bad mood. I just sleep early (around 10:30PM) and when I wake up I feel nice and fresh, ready to conquer the day (let’s say 70% of the time).

Last night, my family and I celebrated my dad birthday and it was nice little gathering (just my parents, my brother and my cousin and her baby). We also watched the ‘Game of Thrones’ season finale, which by the way, I still can’t over how that show ended and now I have to wait another year to watch what happens next. I may have to read the book series.

I had this thought in my head about my parents because yesterday was my dad’s birthday. Sometimes, I wonder if my parents ever had any regrets with their decisions to stay in this country. I see them both working very hard and always have. It tears my heart apart when I see them busting their butts every single day. I can see some people say, “hey that’s life.” Yes, I agree to that to some extent, but I wonder if they are happy. When I started writing my blogs last year (October 2014), my mom was unemployed for almost 2 years and during that time her health took for a turn and I think she was depressed. Now she is back on her feet and she is happy to feel like she is needed and can contribute to the family. My father on the other hand, has worked non-stop, every single day. Monday through Fridays- he is a superintendent and on the weekends he works on his business and my mom and I both help out on the weekends too. The guy barely relaxes (that is why he loves going to the recreation) and I wish I can make things better for him and my mom. If someone gave me wish right now and asked me what I wanted the most at this very moment/second, I’d honestly say “I want a home for my parents.” I would also like my father to stop working as a superintendent. My parents has sacrificed a lot for me, and look where I am at now, not even done with my PhD and just started working. It’s neither a good or bad thing, but it is not where I want to be in my life right now. I wish I had the means to help my parents out, so they can enjoy their lives and finally relax. If you read my past blogs, you can really tell that I am very close to my parents. We only have each other. But I am trying folks. I really am. I wonder if there will ever be time when we can just be happy. I know there are worse things out there and I’m sure others are going through so much worse. But when is it enough?

I was reading a few blogs last night and it reminds me that others have it 10 times worse than what I do. I should appreciate I even have my parents and that they have me. I know it seems like I complain a lot, but it’s just a way for me to vent. I really hope I can get them a nice house.

But in order to get there, or at least close enough to that goal, I have to finish the damn dissertation.