Actions Speak Louder than Words

Hi folks,

Actions speak louder and than words. A phrase that annoys the hell out of me, but it is true. We (mostly myself) tend to talk and plan alot but we do not follow through. However, this time I am. If I really want to see a change in my life from now on, this is the time to do it. Since, I royally fucked up in the past.

I will follow through:

  • Credit card debt– the action plan for this is to budget, stop using my credit cards, and plan out how to tackle down my credit card payments.
  • Student loans– the action plan for this is to pay more than the minimum.
  • Find a better paying job– the action for this is obvious, I need to do more job searching and I need to find a part time job.
    • I’ve already updated my resume and CV, and so far, I already have 1 major interview lined up. If I get that job, I should be set and be able to help out more.
  • Mental and physical health– the action plan for this is to:
    • Going to church during lunch time has helped me reflect about the past, present, and future. A block away from my job, there is a church, and just walking into the church, gives me a sense of reality relief and helps me reflect on myself. I recommend doing this. It gives you some peace of mind.
    • Eating healthier and going to the gym is the obvious action plan for physical health.
      • since, I’m budgeting, I’m bring lunch to work and staying away from starbucks : (

Funny how I always include my family in my list, but this time I am not. I can’t help them if I cannot help myself. This time I will follow through with this. My anxiety was out of control last week, it was really really bad due to credit card debt, student loans, and rent payments. So, I literally grabbed a book and wrote down all of my credit card balances and when I get a paycheck. I will explain my game plan on this in another blog, because I want to test it out first, and if it works then I will share it.

Honestly, I tell myself things could be alot worse than it is now. Just because I do not have a PhD, does not mean life stops. Yes, I didn’t get it, now I have to move on, and folks I am. I’m trying really hard, but sometimes I look back and say to myself, “you screwed up so bad and look at you now?! What makes you think you will do better?!” Again, I will explain in another blog, about what really happened and how I faced my department about my experiences with my advisor.

Anyways, I’m trying.

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Reading

Reading for pleasure has anyone tried?? I love to read! there is something about being transported away to a different place, time, and meeting different people.

Even when I was a kid, I use to collect the Bernstein bear books, babysitter clubs, ect. OMG, I use to be obsessed with those books.

What I do now is borrow books from my local library. I used to read from my kindle but it was getting a little costly after awhile.

Also aside from reading journal articles or books related to your research, it is always best to mix it up a bit.

Perhaps, not similarly going to gym, but I tried to read a book on a daily basis. Obviously, it has be to be something interesting. Also, my commute time is about an hour, so reading kills time on the train.

Click on this link and it explains ‘reasons why we should read’: http://www.realsimple.com/health/preventative-health/benefits-of-reading-real-books

So far I’ve read the following books:

  • The Nightingale by Kristen Hannah (I’m currently reading this)
  • Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson (OMG- this is a must!!!)
  • When I’m Gone by Emily Bleeker
  • Our souls at night  (this is ok)
  • The Piano teacher (this is ok)
  • The expatriates (good book)
  • All the light we cannot see (a must read!)
  • The Girl on the Train (OMG!)

 

Working Out

So, it’s going to be two weeks now since I’ve been going to the gym. I’m going to try to stick with it, but I’ve made it a part of my daily routine. In other words, just like I how I eat dinner everyday, I go to the gym everyday. I’m going at my own pace, in terms of not getting all nuts. After the 4th or 5th day, I felt a difference in myself, not physical, but mentally. I felt a bit calmer and not as anxious.

I think going to the gym or at least doing some type of physical activity (besides walking to your car, or commuting home) should be a part of our day. I can see how people get really obsessed going to the gym because you are dealing with yourself and listening to your favorite music. Nothing else matters, but you and the great music.

Do I see a change? NOPE…lol. I really don’t see a change in my body but I do see a change in my attitude and state of mind.

I do the following at the gym: 

  • 30 minutes on the treadmill 
    • 5 minutes warmup
    • 10 minutes incline and power walk
    • 15 minutes incline and jogging
  • 10 minutes on the Arc Trainer machine 
  • 10 minutes on elipitical 
  • 15 minutes of weights 

So, bottom line, go out and do some exercise. Go out and enjoy some great music.

Getting back to ‘Work Mode’…..

Hi Folks,

The purpose of this particular blog is to ‘getting back to work mode‘. In the past couple of week or months, I’ve totally wasted time on not doing anything productive. I would work on something for an hour and next thing you know I’m thinking about my family, future, logging on to facebook, and just stupid stuff. My head was literally in the clouds.

However, when it came to work (for my job), I would be on top of whatever project, I was working on. Finish it to the end. However, academia-related projects for my future (ie. writing article, looking of assistant professor jobs, writing a research statement, updating my CV) has been in the back burner in past couple of months. I feel like I have no energy or just not compelled to do anything related to that. Let’s take a step back, my current job is academia related- I am a researcher but working on my director’s projects. I supervise other research assistants.

Well, I made the good old ‘check list’ and notice a few things.

  1. I am not realistic.
  2. I need to break down my ‘tasks’ into smaller ‘tasks’ to accomplish the ‘end product.’
  3. Need to set due dates for myself to ensure that I complete each task at a timely manner.

 

October Updates

Hi Folks!

I know it’s been awhile but I back. Hopefully, I can write more regularly this time.

A few things happened in the past few weeks:

  1. I went away with my boyfriend for a week and a half. I had the greatest time, who knew I loved micro breweries. It’s pretty popular in the Northwest, especially in Canada. I do not know what it is, but if I can describe it, it is like tasting something new, a drink you will not get anywhere else (unless it is commercialized ie. Budweiser ..ewwww). I’m a fan of light beer, however, let’s take a step back. I do not drink to get wasted, I enjoy a drink or two or three to get away from my regular working life and just enjoy the moment with whomever I am with. For example, we were hanging out with some of the locals, mind you, this is not your typical bars. For one thing, these bars did not have 100 tvs all over the place, did not have loud music, or rowdy people. It was a relaxed environment to socialize and just getaway from the bustling city. Anyways, I had a fun.
  2. I met with my adviser and things are coming along and the defense will be take place next month. FINALLY.
  3. I’ve been reading alot of novels, short stories, mysteries and thrillers ect. and I love it. I think I want to be a writer on my spare time. lol. I don’t know what it is, but I just love getting lost into some else’s world. I was looking into writing retreats and it just may be part of my bucket list.
  4. Family problems and it NEVER ends. This time is about money issues and as usual it comes down to my brother’s careless adventures and selfish decisions. Long story short, my dad and I have our savings and i am the only one with access to the account and I lent my brother some money, because he needed it to move into his new apartment. The first red flag is that if you cannot afford to move into your apartment, why would you rent one in the first place. Go figure. So, without my dad’s permission I took out money from the account and gave it to my brother because I felt bad and he kept bothering me ALOT. I wanted to help out. Six months passed and my brother never paid me back and my dad found out about me lending money to my brother and was furious. I wish I can do into depth but it’s a long story about why my brother and dad’s relationship. So, now my dad does not trust anymore with our savings and I’m pissed off at my brother because he put me into this position.
  5. Work is OK.
  6. I went to my doctor’s appointment and my physical health is bad, I’m like 2 cupcakes away from becoming a diabetic person. I was so good in the past, going to the gym and now I can barely stand going. However, I need to make drastic and healthy changes for my own good.

This is a brief update and will write back again tomorrow.